INT. BBC TELEVISION CENTRE – DAY
BENNETT ARRON sits in the reception area. Around him a group of Old Age Pensioners,
who have just finished their BBC Tour, chat noisily. We occasionally hear
comments like, “Shame we didn’t get to see Terry Wogan” and “£1.60
for a cup of coffee!” They have an array of bags with the legend BBC
Shop written across them.
ROB BRYDON walks into the reception area. He sees BENNETT and waves.
BENNETT gets up and walks over to him. They shake hands warmly.
BENNETT: Good to see you.
ROB: You too. It’s been a long time. When was the last time we saw each
other?
BENNETT: (THINKING) Er… I think it was that gig we did together in Chiswick.
ROB: You’re right! That was a while ago.
O.A.P.: (POINTING AT ROB) Ooh, look who that is!
BENNETT: (DISCREETLY TO ROB) It’s a bit noisy in here, let’s go
and find a café.
ROB: Okay. There’s one around the corner.
BENNETT and ROB leave. As they do, BENNETT trips over one of the bags from
the BBC Shop sending audio tapes flying across the reception area.
CUT TO:
EXT. A WELL KNOWN COFFEE CHAIN - DAY
BENNETT sits at a table. He takes his microcassette recorder from his bag,
presses PLAY and RECORD simultaneously and speaks into it.
BENNETT: Rob Brydon interview. September the fourth two thousand and eight.
BENNETT then presses STOP, then REWIND. He listens to what he has just recorded.
ROB comes out of the well-known coffee chain carrying TWO LARGE MUGS. He gives
one to BENNETT.
ROB: I didn’t know if you wanted sugar.
BENNETT: No that’s fine, thanks
ROB sits at the table.
BENNETT: Are you okay if I record this?
ROB: Sure.
BENNETT switches on the microcassette recorder.
BENNETT: Well, first of all congratulations on all your success.
ROB: Thanks.
BENNETT: So you’re about to start on your first tour of Wales. Why now?
ROB: Well I toured before, as Keith Barrett. But I wanted to be able to do
it now as myself. I wanted to move away from the Keith Barrett persona, you
know, the ‘nice’ person. But at first - which you can see in the
Identity Crisis documentary I made - I went too far the other way. I made it
a bit too harsh, a bit too unfriendly.
BENNETT: Yes I saw the documentary. Was that gig at The Glee Club as tough
as it looked?
ROB: If I’m being perfectly honest, no. Not the whole thing. I did half
an hour and the reception I received when I went on stage was great. You know,
they weren’t expecting me, I have a bit of a profile and I’m a
Welsh comedian. So some bits worked really well. But what you saw did really
happen. And that’s what I took away with me. And doing stand-up in the
documentary gave me the taste for it. I like the idea of having a full set
as myself. I want to see how good I can be. I know I’m okay but I want
to see if I can be a really great stand-up. So I’ve booked in this tour.
I’m doing four nights at the Millennium Centre. I was only going to do
one but it sold out so I thought I’d try some more.
BENNETT: Talking about the documentary, what was the reason for doing it?
ROB: Well from 2000 when it all took off, I’ve made quite a few shows.
And I wanted to do something different. I wanted to do something I felt passionate
about. So it was either Elvis or Wales. I was always being defined as this
Welsh comedian and that was starting to niggle me. And I’ve lived away
from Wales for so long that I didn’t feel connected with it. Nine times
out of ten whenever people come up to me they always want to talk about Wales.
Or Steve Coogan. And the way we’re perceived as this depressing gloomy
nation - I felt very strongly that it’s a fascinating country that’s
overlooked and I thought it would be a fascinating study. Which it was.
BENNETT and ROB both take sips from their HUGE MUGS.
ROB: You know, it’s interesting the whole thing about Wales and the Welsh.
To a degree I’m a little bit uncomfortable with being labelled as doing
Welsh stuff. For example, Peter Kaye talks about where he’s from but
he’s not labelled as “That Bolton comedian”. But it’s
fine. There is stuff that I do which is about being Welsh but there’s
also stuff that’s more general. Like I talk about having a new baby which
is general, but there is a Welsh slant to it. But the thing is, you talk about
what you know. And doing the documentary did reconnect me with Wales and being
Welsh. Of course, I am ‘that Welsh comedian’ or ‘that Welsh
bloke’ and I do get mileage out of it so I can’t complain.
BENNETT: I know what you mean. Whenever I am listed for comedy clubs they always
write down ‘Welsh comedian’. Which of course I am and I am proud
to be. But they do like to give labels. I suppose with you, it’s because
the majority of the roles you’re associated with on television have been
Welsh.
ROB: (THINKING) Well, let’s see, certainly Marion and Geoff, The Keith
Barrett Show yeah, in Human Remains one of the characters was Welsh, Gavin
and Stacey now, which is the biggest thing I’ve ever been in, yes, very
much the Welsh thing.
BENNETT: So you live in London. Do you go back to Wales often?
ROB: I tend to do quite a few charity things in Wales. I do a lot of corporate
gigs there and, of course, I filmed Gavin and Stacey in Wales. So I find myself
being back there more and more.
BENNETT: Is there going to be a third series of Gavin and Stacey?
ROB: I don’t know. We’re doing a Christmas Special but I don’t
know about a third series yet.
BENNETT: So what other things are you doing?
ROB: Well my production company, ARBIE are making things. We’ve just
made one pilot for the BBC and we’re working on another one, which I
have a little part in. And I write a monthly column for Esquire.
BENNETT: Yes, I’ve seen that. It’s like a poor man’s RedHanded.
As they are speaking, TWO WOMEN walk over to the table.
WOMAN 1: Hello, I’m a fan. A big fan!
BENNETT is about to thank her when realises she’s probably not speaking
to him. He takes a sip of his tea.
ROB: (TO THE WOMAN) Thank you very much.
WOMAN 1: I enjoy your…comedy and stuff. And I wanted to say hello.
WOMAN 2: She would have regretted it if she hadn’t said hello to you.
ROB: (SMILING) Well, you’ve seized the moment in an admirable way. It’s
nice to meet you.
The WOMEN GIGGLE and walk off together.
BENNETT: So which comedians do you like?
ROB: I like a lot of the Jewish ones. I like Jackie Mason…
ROB then performs some Jackie Mason material as Jackie Mason. The impression
is perfect.
ROB: I also like Seinfeld, Woody Allen…
ROB then does another spot-on impression. This time of Woody Allen. As he is
speaking, a MAN walks past the table. The MAN does a double take not sure if
he really has just seen Rob Brydon sitting at a table impersonating Woody Allen.
BENNETT SHOOS away a fly, which was about to take a dip in his HUGE MUG.
BENNETT: Are you planning on going over to America at all?
ROB: I’d love to be in a hit American TV show or a film. Some people
are aware of me because of A Cock and Bull Story and Gavin and Stacey. When
Cock and Bull Story played at film festivals over there I got a great response.
The New York Times had me down as an Oscar candidate for Best Supporting Actor!
But I’m very settled in this country. I’ve got four children. I
really like what I have in this country. I like my home life.
BENNETT smiles and nods. He then picks up his microcassette recorder and presses
the STOP button.
BENNETT: Well, thanks for that.
ROB: That’s alright.
BENNETT: I think I’m going to write this interview in the form of a script.
We SLOWLY ZOOM out leaving BENNETT and ROB talking together. As they talk a
group of OLD AGE PENSIONERS walk past carrying bags from the BBC SHOP.
OAP 1: (POINTING) Look who that is!
OAP 2: Yes, he’s the one who knocked over your bag!
They stare at BENNETT and then walk off.
ENDS
Rob Brydon appears at the Millennium Centre, in Cardiff, on November 30 and
December 1, 8 and 9. Tickets £17.50 from 08700 402 000.
When Bennett met Rob