KILL YOUR FRIENDS
John Niven
£
12.99, Heinemann
Less a novel title than a mission statement, Kill Your Friends is an evisceration
of the music industry, a world not renowned for its respectful restraint. Excess
All Areas is more the muso biz’s modus vivendi so it doesn’t come
as a shocker that debauchery, amorality and backstabbing are rife. Take the
protagonist, Steven Stelfox. Think of the funniest person you know. Then take
away all hints of compassion or human feeling other than anger, lust and greed.
Now, add copious volumes of testosterone, cocaine, champagne, obscene amounts
of money and, not to forget, prostitutes. Shake well and let the craziness
commence.
Stelfox, an A&R man who is responsible for talent-spotting The Next Big
Thing in music, is one of those fictional creations you can’t quite believe
exist, but you know in the dark recesses of your mind he’s probably based
on the real deal. He is unremittingly vile, unashamedly sexist, racist and
every other ‘ist’ going, but that’s part of the book’s
appeal. Stelfox is such a panto villain you end up either laughing at his awfulness
or pitying the fact his worldview is so skewed. As with all good satire, there
are flashes of well-observed truths that reveal the shallowness and ignorance
of a global business that is supposed to be creative, but is really about the
buck bottom-line. The novel is also damn funny. The humour isn’t so much
dark as coal-black as the narrative is littered with genuinely LOL gags. Critics
have complained that the novel is too hysterically over-the-top, but ultimately – and
sadly – Kill Your Friends is a hilarious exposé that is actually,
if anything, a tad toned-down compared to the sex-drugs-rock’n’roll
reality. A great attempt at fiction verité nonetheless that takes you
on a mad, frenzied journey.
ANNIE LEIBOVITZ AT WORK
Annie Leibovitz
£
25, Random House
Annie Leibovitz is one of the few photographers to become as famous as her
subjects, no mean feat considering the roll-call of people who have posed for
her camera reads like a Who’s Who of the world’s great and good.
As you’d expect, there’s the regulation-issue raft of A-list Hollywooders.
Leibovitz retells how the infamous photo-shoot of a heavily-pregnant naked
Demi Moore happened and how Leibovitz herself doesn’t rate it as a great
image. And she tells the story behind photographing John Lennon and Yoko Ono
only hours before he was shot dead, as well as that supposed almighty spat
with our own Queen when she took her portrait. The most interesting, affecting
images, though, aren’t her celebrity pictures but her war reportage in
Sarajevo where Leibovitz really captures the quiet kindnesses, as well as,
the violent ravages of conflict. This isn’t just one of those coffee
table books that ends up as a coaster because Leibovitz uses it as a kind of ‘How
To’ guide to improving our own photographic efforts. Leibovitz isn’t
saying you can recreate what she does without her resources and Rolodex, but
she does give some top tips on getting the best from life through a lens, even
if our cameras aren’t quite the same calibre as hers.
WHY DO I SAY THESE THINGS?
Jonathan Ross
£
7.99, Bantam Press
After all the brouhaha over his little double-act turn with a certain Russell
Brand, the title of this book seems less like a rhetorical question and more
an unfortunate prophesy, which will explain why it didn’t set the bestseller
lists alight when the hardback edition was published late last year. With the
Manuelgate storm-in-a-teacup behind him and this book now out in paperback,
hopefully it will find the bigger audience it deserves. It’s actually
a difficult book to categorise. It’s not an autobiography in the traditional
sense. It's a collection of memories from Ross’s early days mixed with
some of the antics he has got up to since breaking into television, coupled
with a lot of musings about life, love and the universe. The meandering stories
range from B-movies to fashion, from diets to sweetshops, from sex to pets
(and back to sex again), allowing Ross to give his views on all sorts of stuff
with the manic energy, ease and near-the-knuckle humour we’re used to
seeing on television. Only, the great advantage of writing is that you can
edit things out. So maybe it’s a medium that Ross, who clearly has a
knack for it, would do well to explore further.
Jason Jones peruses the pages