THE HELL OF IT ALL
Charlie Brooker
£12.99, Faber and Faber

Let’s face facts, journalists are not the most loved people on the face of the planet. Generally, we’re a reviled lot who rank pretty low on civilisation’s list of revered professionals. There seems to be one exception to the all-journos-are-scum rule, though, namely Charlie Brooker. Everyone loves him. Even hardened hack-haters. Brooker, though, is no ordinary hack. In fact, he’s not a hack at all. He’s a journalist of rare brilliance. Actually, scrap that. If there were a patron saint of spleen-venting, Brooker would be it. OK, there are loads of writers who rant for their supper, but what marks Brooker out as unique is his acutely-observed, hilariously-skewed worldview. That worldview is on full display in The Hell Of It All, an anthology of his journalism from the Guardian. The articles are a mixture of his weekly television reviews and other columns he writes for the paper on his pet hates, which are myriad. His views on everything are priceless. He turns misanthropy into an art form. Consider a couple of quotes, “Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can’t hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level.” Or, “Mankind clearly peaked about 40 years ago. It's been downhill ever since. For all this talk of our dazzling modern age, the two biggest advances of the past decade are Wi-Fi and Nando’s. That’s the best we can do.” See, he’s that good. The only depressing thing is that can’t hold a match to Brooker, let alone a candle. A welcome antidote to all the festive saccharine sentimentality.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK
Chris Evans
£20, HarperCollins
What do you think of Chris Evans? Broadcasting genius? Possibly. The guy who proposed to Billie Piper with a Ferrari filled with roses after their first date? Maybe. Or is it a cocky loudmouth who got lucky? Chances are, this is the general consensus out there and something the savvy Evans is only too well aware of. He alludes to it in the title of his autobiography and even kicks off the book with the top ten tabloid descriptions of him through the years, ranging from the positive (Genius, Whiz-kid) to the vicious (Ugly, Tyrant). Whereas most famous folks’ autobiographies are ghostwritten PR gloss jobs designed to raise profile and cash in, Evans really does want to tell his story and go beyond the cartoon persona. Each chapter starts with the same top ten format, which works surprisingly well. Sometimes they’re personal, sometimes they’re almost motivational, like, “Things To Do When The Cards Are Stacked Against You” and “Things That Help Get A Deal Done”. And Evans is worth taking advice from. After all, he went from a council estate and became one of the richest media players in Britain. A funny, self-deprecating memoir that chronicles the high-rolling adventures of a big-noise life. Frustratingly, however, this is just volume one. We have to wait to get the second half of the extraordinary Evans story.

THE HAÇIENDA: HOW NOT TO RUN A CLUB
Peter Hook
£18.99, Simon & Schuster
Over the years, there have been some legendary clubs. In the 60s, there was Liverpool’s The Cavern that famously spawned The Beatles. There was the hedonism of Studio 54 in New York during the 70s. The 80s, though, saw The Haçienda herald a new age in clubbing. For the uninitiated, The Haç, – as the regulars called it – was a hangar-sized club in Manchester that turned the concept of conventional clubbing on its head, as well as reshaping the entire British music industry. Peter Hook, co-founder of iconic bands Joy Division and New Order and one of the original investors in the club, has decided to document The Haçienda’s tumultuous history. Hook is a great raconteur – affable, conspiratorial, coruscatingly honest, to the point where he tells stories against himself. Most of his descriptions of what went on, despite often being hilarious, can’t be repeated here due to their sheer rudeness. What the book really shows is how important the club was in showcasing new artists – Madonna’s first UK TV appearance was filmed there, but we won’t hold that against it – and giving birth to the original rave scene and the concept of the superclub. As the subtitle says, it may not provide the ideal business model, but it’s a great piece of pop-culture history.

Jason Jones wishes he could rant like Charlie Brooker