Some 28 million of us in Britain are doing it. Collectively, we do it for 921 million hours every week. And the French are 29% better at it than us. Get your mind out of the gutter, smutty. I’m not talking about you-know-what. I’m talking about - what else? Work. Yes, we spend more time at work than with our families. Furthermore, the workplace is a hotbed of boiling injustices for men. OK, women may not get equal pay, but they are ahead in the grooming game. Not only do they spend, on average, 41 minutes more time getting ready for work than we do, but when they’re there they’re always delving into their desks to keep up appearances. So, it’s about time we fought back with our own box of maintenance tricks.

1. Janina Liquid Toothpaste Spray
(30ml, £6.95): First on the list for any office drawer stash is a decent breath freshener to disguise morning dog breath and the cheeky-pint-at-lunchtime fumes. This is ideal because you don’t need a toothbrush or water, just spray directly into gob, swill and spit. Simple.

2. Chanel Allure Homme Sport Eau De Toilette
(50ml, £31): This slick black container is small and hard-wearing - perfect to store in your drawer when you need a quickie spritz as the hours at the office coalface start taking their toll. Good to sling in your sports bag if you’ve got enough left in you for a post-work workout. Comes with two mini refills.

3. Kiehl’s Abyssine Cream
(50ml, £34): Most offices these days are air-conned to the max, zapping the skin of every last drip of moisture. This anti-ageing cream with blokey-sounding Age-Deterrent Survival Molecules and Soy Protein is designed to keep the dryness at bay and keep your skin from getting craggy.

4. Sanex For Men Active Deodorant
(150ml, £1.99): If it’s not the air-con dehydrating your hide, it’s the heating making you sweat like a yeti in a sauna. To keep those pesky damp patches under your arms under control, this deo-spray does the job without leaving a chalky residue or an office-pervading pong.

5. Origins Sensory Therapy Peace of Mind On-The-Spot Relief
(15ml, £10.00): After eight hours staring at a PC, most of us have a hammering headache and/or lost the will to live. If you smear a small slick of this aromatherapy cream onto your pressure-points, it should rejuvenate even the most rattled parts of the brain. Although doesn’t remedy work-induced thoughts of suicide.

6. Kevin Murphy Fresh.Hair
(150ml, £10.95): Going straight out after work for a big date? This spray dry-cleans your barnet leaving it shampoo-fresh and ready for your paramour to run their fingers through. Remember dirty hair won’t get you any dirtiness at the end of the night so it’s not so much a grooming product as a sex aid.

For all the latest grooming tips catch the current issue of RedHanded.

6 of the best… Office Drawer Essentials

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