TO WORRY ABOUT!
Do you lie awake at night worrying about stuff? Bennett does…
I am a real worrier. But then being Welsh and having a Jewish mother was there any way I was going to end up differently?
I even worried about the way to start this article. Initially I wrote: “I am a Real Worrier – as opposed to Mad Max who is the Road Warrior”. However I quickly realised that hardly anyone would get that joke, if it even was a joke.
So I rewrote it. Then rewrote it again. Then changed the font. Then the line spacing. Then the alignment – and there’s no justification for that. (I’ve even worried if that joke is funny, but I’ve kept it in anyway).
I’ve always worried. I know that many people do - and I worry about them. There’s no support group for us. There’s no ‘Worriers Anonymous’. Mind you if there was a group like that most of us would be worried that we’d be late for meetings or we’d turn up on the wrong day.
I worry before I go to sleep at night and I start worrying the moment I get up. I even worry in my dreams, although to be fair some of those worries are: “Why is Olivia Newton John wearing a gold bikini, holding a magnifying glass and looking disappointed?” or “Why is that angry clown carrying the bookcase I made in Year 8 woodwork class?”
I worry that I sometimes lie when filling in forms. I’m not talking about making up my name or my date of birth (although I have done both those things, which is why some people know me as a 28-year-old woman called Margaret). I mean that quite often I tick the “Yes I have read the terms and conditions” when I haven’t! Who knows what I’ve accepted? Will someone come to my house in five years’ time, take everything I have and say; "You agreed to this in the terms and conditions”?
They say men can’t multi-task. Nonsense! As I’m writing this I’m worrying about several things at the same time: “Is tomorrow rubbish day or recycling day?” “What’s the password for my Ebay account?” and “Do I have an Ebay account?”
I also worry that I am becoming too reliant on technology. A month ago I dropped my phone, the screen cracked and it stopped working. I’m sure some of you are sweating just thinking about it. But it was worse, I could receive calls, but I couldn’t answer the call or ring them back. People’s names would come up and I’d be pressing, sliding, shouting, crying. Nothing. (It was like the night I lost my virginity - I knew what I had to do, yet nothing was having any effect. And again there was pressing, sliding, shouting, crying...)
I hadn’t realised how dependent I had become on my phone. It was really stressful. I couldn’t send or receive emails or texts. I couldn’t see the pointless rubbish friends put on Facebook or get involved in a futile argument over super heroes on Twitter. However, halfway through the second day of phonelessness (this might not be a genuine word) I found myself more relaxed than I had been in years. I realised I didn’t need to check my phone every 4 to 6 minutes. I promised myself that once I had a new phone I would not go back to my old ways. The following day I received a new phone and… well I don’t remember much after that as a friend of mine had posted a funny photo of his lunch.
There is an advantage to this worrying though as it has led to me being given a new series by Radio Wales! I’m as excited as you are. The series will be called Bennett Arron Worries About… and will be recorded in May/June in Cardiff. (You can check my website for dates and venue. If you want to.)
Talking of radio, my last series, BENNETT ARRON IS JEWELSH has been nominated for a Celtic Media Award. I’ve been invited to Ireland for the awards ceremony. But should I go? I’m worried. What if I’m not a gracious winner, or even worse, a dejected loser? I’m kidding, it’s enough just to be nominated. (It’s really not.)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this article. If not, don’t worry about it. (Well, not too much.)
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© Bennett Arron March 2016
“Why is that angry clown carrying the bookcase I made in Year 8 woodwork class?”